People often say that losing a loved one is inevitable—but how do you truly cope with the loss of a parent? How do you make peace with the reality that there will never be another moment to hold them, hug them, or hear their voice again? Some may offer comfort with phrases like “It’s part of life” or “Time will fix it.” Maybe time helps. Maybe it doesn’t. But one thing remains true: how losing a parent changes you is deeply personal, and often profound—especially if that loss happens early in life.
In India, where families are closely bonded and grieving is a shared process, the death of a parent can hit harder. It can send your whole world crashing down. Even after the rituals are done and the prayers are said, the pain lingers. The grief doesn’t last for the initial period; it’s much more profound. Let’s talk about what really changes deep inside after the loss of a parent.
You No Longer Feel ‘Safe’ in the World
We all grow up knowing that loss is part of life and that our parents will not always be around. Yet, when the moment arrives when a parent dies, something dies inside. Nothing can prepare you for it. It’s the kind of loss that no words can ever explain. Seeking professional help can offer some relief. For people living in regions like Delhi NCR, where life moves fast, talking to therapists in Ghaziabad online or booking an offline consultation with local counsellors is an option.
The person who knew your entire life story is gone. Never to return. They stood by you like a rock and loved you unconditionally. Suddenly, you are all alone. Your world is off-kilter, and you don’t know what to make of a life they’re no longer part of. The deep sense of vulnerability can make you feel unsafe, even in familiar surroundings.
Life Is Cleaved into ‘Now’ and ‘Then’
Often, the death of a parent feels like the end of an era. You begin viewing life in two parts: now and then. The things you do now, you did them before, too, but they don’t feel the same. The places you visited with your parents feel strange without them.
One moment, you feel numb; the next, tears well up in your eyes. Then, you find yourself tearing up in the middle of a marketplace. Grief… it engulfs you… and makes you want to stop the wheel of time from turning.
You Start Carrying Grief in Everyday Moments
People begin to feel different, too. Those who once cared may no longer reach out, sensing a heaviness in your presence. Some relatives might even turn away, and that quiet invalidation can weigh heavily. How losing a parent changes you isn’t just internal—it can reshape your relationships and sense of belonging. You may feel rejected, unwanted, and begin to withdraw, grieving in silence with no desire for company.
When your phone rings, you don’t want to answer. When you hear their favourite song playing somewhere, you smile faintly, remembering your deceased parent. Every achievement makes you look up at the sky and smile, wishing your loving parent were here to witness it. Your grief stays within. It doesn’t go away—it becomes part of you. You are not sad, but you are not happy either. You just…exist.
Feeling ‘Okay’ Again Seems Impossible, but It’s Possible
Nothing can truly erase the pain of losing a parent, but there is always hope for a better tomorrow. How losing a parent changes you isn’t something that can be measured or rushed—it unfolds over time. You don’t have to hurry the healing, but you can take small steps to help yourself along the way.
- Allow yourself to feel every emotion that shows up. Suppressing feelings of sadness or anger in a bid to “stay strong” can, on the contrary, intensify the suffering.
- Research has shown that it can be beneficial to lean on a friend or a close relative for support. You may not want to open up entirely to them, but sharing sometimes can ease your mind.
- Write a letter addressed to your deceased parent and open your heart to them. There’s a good chance that some things were left unsaid. If there were, this is how you can get them out of your system. You can even use this scripting technique to express your love for them.
- Allow yourself to go through every stage of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You’re only human, and your feeling the way you do is anything but a sign of weakness.
Move Forward, One Step At a Time
For many, losing a parent is a loss unlike any other. Life may compel you to keep going, but how losing a parent changes you is something that unfolds quietly, often beneath the surface. Give yourself time to grieve, and hold close the good moments you shared. Whether through tears or quiet smiles, your grief is valid—and uniquely yours.
